A
person’s history is always a starting point to understand them. Literacy history
is comprised of reading, writing, and communication profiles. These profiles
can be affected by any event or experience in the person’s life. If the goal is
to understand the person’s literary skills, then their literacy and personal
history must first be understood.
One of the first ways to get to know
someone in college is asking them what their major is. A person’s major is a
good way to start a conversation and find out their interests or ambitions. My
major is civil engineering which focuses on pretty much every structure society
uses such as dams, roads, or buildings. Civil engineering is such a broad field
that it has many sub-fields such as environmental engineering, structural, water
resource management, geotechnical, and transportation. I chose civil
engineering as it is a very honorable field and is so broad that I will never
be out of work and can go anywhere in the world to work. A civil engineer is
very knowledgeable about the world around them and I want to have that same
insight. Another very big reason I chose
civil engineering is that I love architecture because I think of every
structure as a monument to all of our achievements as humanity. So much thought
and technology goes into every standing structure that they represent human
accomplishment in general. It is going to be a lot of work and time before I
become a civil engineer, but I believe it will all be worth it. The only way I
am going to get there though is by using all of skills I have learned so far in
my life.
The one thing or experience that has
taught me the most lessons, skills, or impacted me the most is football. I
think of football as the greatest thing in my life and I would be a different
person without football. The sport gave me confidence and a lifestyle of
athleticism and leadership that I will have for the rest of my life. The
impacts are so far reaching for me that I do believe it has impacted the way I
read, write, and communicate with others. In football, I had to memorize
formations and plays extremely fast. I then had to communicate those topics to
others out on the field in split seconds before the ball was snapped. When I
read or write, I do it just as systematically or confidently as if I was in the
weight room. I break things like books and essays into parts or just jump right
into them. Just grinding away on a book or essay feels just like working out.
Then football has greatly influenced the way I communicate with others. If I had
never done football, I would probably be extremely shy and not socialize with
people at all. I made so many friends and met so many people that everywhere I
went, I met someone I knew and that is beginning to happen here at Sacramento
State as well. I meet people from my high school and then all of the friends I
made last semester. I am constantly trying to do my best and make new friends
here at school. The confidence to just start a conversation and get to know
somebody here at school would not exist without football. Football is a team
sport and one of the many lessons it taught me was that life is a team sport as
well. There are going to be times when I need the assistance of those around me
and I have not found a better example of that lesson then college. The only way
I am going to make it through a tough major like civil engineering is through
support from friends. I have learned about so many resources and seen new
places on campus thanks to communicating and spending time with friends. Football
impacted everything in my life including my reading, writing, and communication
skills. The lessons I learned will continue to serve me.
Reading, writing, and effective
communication are very important in college and life in general. I need to
master those topics in school to become a civil engineer. They are so important
in the field of civil engineering that they are the cornerstones right beside
technical math skills. Instructors in the civil engineering department and
prominent engineering figures in the Sacramento area continually preach how
important reading, writing, and communication skills are in civil engineering.
Civil engineers need to read through piles of local and state building codes,
bid orders, and technical drawings in their career. They must have clear and
precise handwriting and language in any document they touch as discrepancies
may lead to huge financial costs or even loss of human life. A civil engineer
must always do their best work because their projects may be used by millions
of people annually and if that project was to fail then people may be hurt. Then
finally communication skills are imperative to a civil engineer. They must be
able to communicate ideas from those building codes, bid orders, or technical
drawings to anyone they deal with whether it be customers, other engineers,
workers, or politicians. It is often said that even if a civil engineer is a
math genius and that is all they do then they will not advance that high in the
field. The civil engineer that has good communication skills will always
advance further and faster than the math genius. Those three skills will be my
greatest skills to develop throughout my career. Civil engineering, football,
and all of my lessons and skills define who I am. They will define me
throughout my career and the rest of my life.
1: The thing I like most about the paper is the comparison of football and reading/writing/communication, because I feel like football had the same sort of impact on me as well.
ReplyDelete2A: I think the main point/thesis of the paper is the impact football has had on reading'writing/communication (specific events that have significantly impacted the way you read/write/communicate with others) and the role those skills will play as a Civil Engineer (the role reading/writing will most likely serve now & after college)
2B: Yes, the paper does an appropriate job of addressing the above topics
2C: Yes, it fulfills the requirements of the assignment
3: There could maybe be more about briefly introducing yourself. Other than that, I feel like there is an adequate amount of information for each element given in the prompt.
4: Some of your paragraphs are confusing because they seem to be about more than 1 idea.
5: I really liked how you made the connection between playing football and reading. I feel like I had some of the same experiences (confidence, breaking things down, etc.) when I played football. However, I feel like that whole paragraph could be broken into two paragraphs. One could be about how it has impacted your reading/writing skills, and the other could be about how it shaped shape your personality, knowledge, and/or perception of the world. Then maybe if you added a little more detail to those two paragraphs, I think it would flow better, instead of having one big paragraph about the two topics.
Writer: Blake Baumgardner
ReplyDeleteReviewer: Thai Xiong
1.The connection that you see with writing and your future career is brilliant. I’m quite envious of that. By far, your examples and explanations of how literacy and communication skills will be implemented is my favorite area of the paper.
2.
a) Literacy and a person’s history are closely related. To understand an individual better, you should get to know both their personal and literacy history.
b.) The body, while strong, doesn’t connect well with the intro. I believe if you fix the introduction paragraph to match your essay it will be a lot smoother.
c.)Yes, the essay does a good job of answering all the prompt questions and fulfills the requirements.
3. I would say the majority of the essay that needs editing would be mainly just the introduction paragraph. Shape and change it so that it runs with your body, for example by stating how subtle things in life can be beneficial to your literacy. And also, it’d be good to know why and how football made you a different person, a specific event or time or even just the feelings that run through.
4. The essay is very well organized contains only one idea. Only exception is the first paragraph is a little vague in relation to the body.
5. Most of this will be repeating what I said up above here. The paper is certainly strong when it comes to the body and how writing is further implemented in your career, but the intro kind of threw me off. It made sense, but just didn’t fit with the rest of the essay. Organization is excellent, keep it outlined like this. Lastly, I’d just like to see a little more detail in what specifically in football helped you change to the man you are today.